Low self-esteem, I have it. I've pretty much almost always had it. It's a terrible demon that eats away at me, telling myself that I'm not good enough, I don't look pretty enough, I'm not thin enough, I'm not this... I'm not that. It's horrible. I wish I didn't suffer from it, it eats away at me sometimes. Last night it came to a head and I finally told Adrian how much it bothers me that I feel this way. He's noticed how down I am on myself. Years of being made fun of, and dating the wrong people who put me down constantly will do that to a person. After quite a few tears and an hour long conversation between the two of us, he's started to make me write down 3 things I like about myself - either personality wise or physically - to build myself back up. They aren't allowed to be the same things either, so I've taken to tracking it in my phone so I don't double up.
The first three things I listed were as follows...
1. My eyes (they are hazel, but change different shades of green depending on what I'm wearing, what color my hair is, or how hard I might have been crying)
2. My sense of humor (I almost always can make people laugh around me. I especially like making my mom laugh when she's having a crappy day, whether I mean to or not.)
3. My legs (they are long and I love 'em)
No comments:
Post a Comment